Thursday Morning 10:30ish

Ok so dipshit co-worker (whose blog nickname shall be "babytalker" because she thinks it is adorable to speak like an infant even in the semi-professional environment of the evil empire) bought a

Kirby

vacuum cleaner (you know, the ones that cost $1,400 last time I sat through the presentation….no lie). She's been dating that guy she met at Cub Foods for a couple months now and you'd think they've been together for years the way they carry on about "us" and blahblahblah. Before the Kirby presentation she told him no way she would be buying one and he didn’t have to worry about it because if she can get out of the $100 TiVo sales pitch she can certainly withstand the Kirby presentation! She just wanted the "free carpet cleaning" (HA…HA…Double de ha ha).

Anyway so whitetrashskank (she'll get her own post later in this delicious blog) just asked her if their friend, Michelle, got a vacuum too and babytalk said "No, Michelle's husband wouldn't let her." (I guess he thinks $1,400 is too much for a vacuum? What a NUT!) So then whitetrashskank and babytalk start talking about how they would never let a man control them blahblahblah and whitetrashskank says that all men try it at first and babytalk says "not mine" (because you know, in two months you know just about EVERYTHING there is to find out about a guy, right?) So, she starts talking about how swell he is…for the 14th time this hour and she tells this tantalizing story…

She was coming home from her mom's in Hudson, Wisconsin and she was 7 minutes (SEVEN) late from when she said she would meet him and he called her cell phone to find out where she was. She said he sounded kind of upset/worried and she had to calm him down. She explained was just crossing the bridge and she would be right there in 2 minutes yada yada.

Now, my question for you is, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being hardly at all and 10 being uncontrolled screaming at the top of my lungs - how hard was it for me to not scream "THAT IS CONTROLLING YOU! HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND WHY YOU AREN'T WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE (WITH HIM) WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH HIM! WELCOME TO STALKERVILLE, POPULATION 2!"